The Best Lyrics in the World - Ever!

There was once a poll carried out by the Observer newspaper to determine, in time for the millenium, 'The Nation's Favourite Song Lyric'. But the poll, like so many other polls, was fundamentally flawed: if you asked readers of the Sun what their all-time favourite opera was, they would maybe say Cats, and if you polled your nearest university, you might reveal that the greatest film ever directed is Withnail & I. People who make a living out of knowing about such things would probably disagree.

A crazy old English teacher once asked me, when I was naive enough to disagree about such things, "Since when was popularity a yardstick by which to measure quality?" Now I know little better than anyone else, and Withnail & I would rank pretty high on my list too, but here, born out of annoyance with a world that fails to recognise a great lyric when it punches them in the face, steals their credit card and uses it to order 2000 toblerones over the internet, are a few of the more spectacular lyrics with which myself and a few close acquaintances are acquainted.